thoughts before a prayer

I am waiting to perform my early evening prayer. As a Muslim, I try to perform 5 prayers a day as the religion requests. Many times I fail, but I try as much as I can to do so. I like the feeling that the prayers give - calmness and collectedness, usually a break from the hectic schedules, or the frazzled state of mind that I get into oftentimes. Today especially, I feel very much in need of these breaks. I am feeling out of balance, my melancholy mood prevails. I need to recapture my heart. I need a dose of calm, of happiness even. I need to get F out of my head. I need to let him be him, and not to depend on him, and his every single action to dictate my mood. Ya Allah, grant me the strength to be less reliant on others to make me happy. Grant me the self-confidence to find happiness on my own. Grant me happiness.